The Fear.

Well, truth be told I'm just bored out of my mind and I feel like posting. But I do have some things on my mind. Last night I was up till 3:00AM reading various weight loss blogs and workout tips, and I had this sudden wave of fear loom over me. The problem is, on a blog, you can read weeks and weeks of information over the course of minutes. If your reading a decent blog, you see all the ups and downs that occur for every individual, and it was the downs that really scare me. I know that as of yet I haven't slipped at all, but it's almost like I'm waiting for it to happen. One of these days, I just won't be able to lift, or I won't be able to run. Maybe I sneak a cheeseburger without thinking about it, and I'm afraid that I'm going to beat the crap out of myself because I don't do well with failure. It becomes so hard to see all my goals as long term ones, goals that are going to take years, not weeks or even months. I'm a victim of instant gratification and weight loss is just one of those areas where its not going to happen. And then, even as I read these success stories, I realize that everything is realitive, and I'm always going to be struggling, having problems that I'm trying to overcome. I'm afraid of reaching my goals and still not being satisfied with myself. So, I don't know. I do know that my goals are realistic, and that I'm well on my way to achieving them. I guess just accepting the fact that nothing is ever going to be perfect no matter how hard you try is the biggest thing I'm dealing with, as I am quite a perfectionist. On a good note, I'm quickly approaching a full two weeks of error free dieting-exercise, and even though it has seemed like a lifetime, it is a reminder that yes, I can do this. I'll post my daily eatin' later, for now I have some big ten basketball to watch.


Bagel, Turkey and Mustard

Bagel:

Calories: 240g
Calories from fat: 10g
Fat: 1.5
Saturated fat: 0g
Carbohydrates: 49g
Fiber: 7g
Sugars: 7g
Protein: 13g

Turkey (6 slices)

Calories: 50g
Calories from fat: 10g
Fat: 1g
Saturated fat: 0g
Carbohydrates: 1g
Fiber: 0g
Sugars: 1g
Protein: 9g

Mustard:

Calories: 0g
Calories from fat: 0g
Fat: 0g
Saturated fat: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0g
Fiber: 0g
Sugars: 0g
Protein: 0g


Total:

Calories: 290
Calories from fat: 10
Fat: 2.5
Saturated fat: 0g
Carbohydrates: 50g
Fiber: 7g
Sugars: 1g
Protein: 22g


2 cups Mixed Veggies, 1tbsp butter

Calories: 150g
Calories from fat: 0g
Fat: 0g
Saturated fat: 0g
Carbohydrates: 28g
Fiber: 6g
Sugars: 10g
Protein: 2g

Butter (1 tbsp)

Calories: 80g
Calories from fat: 80g
Fat: 9g
Saturated fat: 2g
Carbohydrates: 0g
Fiber: 0g
Sugars: 0g
Protein: 0g


TV dinner Roasted Sirloin Supreme

Calories: 230g
Calories from fat: 45g
Fat: 5g
Saturated fat: 1.5g
Carbohydrates: 34g
Fiber: 2g
Sugars: 2g
Protein: 13g

Grand Total:

Calories: 750g
Calories from fat: 135g
Fat: 16.5g
Saturated fat: 3.5g
Carbohydrates: 112g
Fiber: 15g
Sugars: 13g
Protein: 37g